Voice Recognition Software Yelled At

NEW YORK—Fidelity Financial Services' Gwen Watson, 33, shouted angrily at her IBM ViaVoice Pro USB voice-recognition software, sources close to the human-resources administrator reported Monday. "No, not Gary Friedman! Barry Friedman, you stupid computer. BARRY!" Watson was heard to scream from her cubicle. "Jesus Christ, I could've typed it in a hundredth of the time." After another minute of yelling, Watson was further incensed upon looking at her screen, which read, "Barely Freedman you God ram plucking pizza ship."

Onion

No Offsides Rule - Considered

Rule Changes in Soccer and Hockey:

Soccer (Futbal)

This change eliminates the "Offside Rule". Offside is a law in association football which effectively limits how far forward attacking players may be when involved in play. Broadly, a player cannot gain an advantage by waiting for the ball near the opposing goal when there are fewer than two opponents between him and the goal. We will eliminate this rule. It's that simple.

This rule change radically changes the game. It will significantly alter strategy and have a huge impact on scoring. The game will open up considerably.

Hockey

Here, we will also eliminate the offsides rule. Currently, play is stopped when a player on the attacking team enters the attacking zone before the puck itself enters the zone, whether it is being carried by a teammate or sent into the attacking zone by an attacking player. If a defending player carries, passes, or otherwise intentionally sends the puck into his defensive zone, any attacking player in the zone is not offside. However, if an attacking player is attempting to shoot the puck into the attacking zone and it deflects off a defending player, an offside violation can still occur. We'll eliminate this rule.

This rule change radically changes the game. It will significantly alter strategy and have a huge impact on scoring. The game will open up considerably.

Style revision survey results

• The survey asked; Should TenBucksWorth keep its sight settings and style formats the same or go with a new look?
  .
  
  

The results are in and 75% of responders voted to keep it the same. Some comments were:

• "Don't change a thing. It's perfect. What was the question?"
  
  "You should just leave it. Nobody gives a crap."
  
  "Oh my... Change is not good - no. Agh, no changes."
  
  "My site is better than your site. You stink."
  
  "I would prefer that you use all dark colors and have text rolling over other text making it tricky to read. How about some odd and unfamiliar music that just starts playing with no button to shut it off? If you can't do that, just stay with what you have."
  
  "LQTM."
  
  "Shimtezine myafora fursamempt crumpty chumpt, or keep it the same."

With sentiment overwhelmingly in favor of the status-quo, we'll not feel pressured to make wholesale revisions just because it's a new year. Instead, we'll consider the question again when we feel like considering it again.

Thanks to all who participated.

Pi

This will be on the test.

Pi or π is a mathematical constant that represents the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter, which is the same as the ratio of a circle's area to the square of its radius.

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028etc.

.

Jim "Ed" Rice deserves to get in

Unless the eligibility rules are changed, this is Jim Rice's last opportunity to get voted into the Hall of Fame. If you were a pitcher facing Rice in his prime (and he had many smoking hot years), you will recall him as one of the the game's most intimidating hitters. He had a lightning fast bat, tremendous power and he played hard all the time. You pitched around Rice. You had nightmares about facing him. You just knew he was going to smoke anything close to a mistake. He wasn't skillfully managed from a PR point of view and he was a much better player than he was a conversationalist. He let the press chatter bother him, and consequently - the press dug at him harder. That's the way it works. If they can get a story by busting your balls, they will. That's not a shot at the press, that's just the way it works. I digress...

In another controversy-worthy decision, I don't get a vote this year. Hardly fair... I would however, offer these brief comments at to why Rice deserves his place.

JIM RICE Highlights:

• One of league's dominating hitters for 12 years, from 1975-1986


• Averaged .304, 29 HR, 106 RBIs during this period


• 4 - 200 hit seasons, 11 - 20 HR seasons, 8 - 100 RBI seasons


• Only player to get 200 hits / 35 HRs 3 consecutive years


• 6 times Top 5 in MVP voting


• 8 time all-star


• 8 time Top 10 slugging, including 5 times in Top 2


• 4 times league leader in Total Bases


• Only AL player since 1937 to have 400+ bases in one season


• Outstanding defensive left fielder


• Career Totals: 2,452 Hits, 382 HR, 1,451 RBI, 79 Triples

Remember: These achievements came in the pre-steroids era when hitting 30 HR a year was a big deal.

Read the Redsox letter to the HOF voters in support of Rice:

http://members.shaw.ca/Rice4HOF/files/Jim%20Rice%20Red%20Sox%20HOF%20Resume.pdf

Steve Martin's Holiday Wish

During the season it's surely worth ten bucks, so I toss it up again.

Steve Martin's Holiday Wish...

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name.

Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know?

No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize!

Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we go with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.

When the due date comes and goes...

When March comes and there is no solution, will Chrysler / Cerberus - having quickly consumed the "loan" - find a way to pay it back?

Put up outside Christmas lights... Check!

It's so perfect. I love this effort.

OddNoggin

John Herman and his friends are on the odd edge. They not only think this odd stuff up, but they actually produce it. It is, for some odd reason - odd enough to be interesting in an odd way.

OddNoggin

.

Fitness Ha...

Steve Williams (Tiger's caddy) chirps up some controversy

Not much else happening in the golf world right now, so why not tell the story about how a spectator told Phil Mickelson he had nice tits.

As a marketing machine (with generally flawless execution), Tiger (and his peeps) won't be pleased. It doesn't mean the stories aren't true or that that Tiger doesn't agree, but as a strategy in business, this sort of thing won't go unaddressed.

Nice one Oliver...

787 Cliparts by Oliver Laric

Onion News

Town Fails To Rally Around Adult Trapped In Well
CATONSVILLE, MD—"What's a man that age doing near a well to begin with?" said Janice Peters, who spent the day not praying for the safety of the trapped 38-year-old.

Cranberry Juice Industry Hoping 2009 A Big Year For Urinary Tract Infections
LAKEVILLE, MA—The nation's leading cranberry juice producers announced Monday that they are banking on a record number of Americans...

Manager Achieves Full Mastery Of Pointless Managerial Jargon
CHARLOTTE, NC—Coworkers knew James Atkins had become a virtuoso of business jargon when he asked the group to participate in a "targeted brainstorm by EOD."

Well...and then - there's that.

They say everybody is good at something. You're lucky to discover what it is.

(Human) Brains, Filters, Stubborness, and ...

We (humans) take in information. Now more now than ever, we’re constantly flooded with information. The ability to quickly and easily go out and look for more specific information (www) takes it to a new level. We react, consider, process and develop conclusions or positions. We might not be conscious of the process that takes us toward conclusions, but it’s working all the time. Our need hierarchy helps us prioritize the messages (data) we accommodate and feeds the need for clarity (more info). We process and sort things out to help build a picture of “what is”. Our conclusion / position may start with something as simple as establishing a feeling, or a sense that something will give us near term pain or pleasure.

Based initially on the severity of the perceived outcome (bad stuff first, and in second place – good stuff), information earns our attention. Another early sort / filter (important concept) for information is relevance. A necessary and useful filter allows us to screen out most noise and let relevant information through. Filtering, sorting or prioritizing is how we manage traffic (sight, sound – data of any kind) in our brains. If it didn’t work this way, we’d all be nuts. Once traffic arrives, we process it accordingly. The way this happens was the subject of great debate for some time, but not any more. Science actually does have a pretty clear picture of how our brains work. There is a ton of material on this subject. There’s little disagreement on the mechanics of the brain – at least down to the level of information processing, storage and retrieval. There are some mystical theories, but I filter them as irrelevant (hmmm…). Here are corroborating (also an important word to remember) excellent reads: Who We Really Are – Robert Wiedermeyer, Stumbling on Happiness – Daniel Gilbert, This is Your Brain on Music – Daniel J. Levitin, On the Sweet Spot – Richard Keefe, A Whole New Mind – Daniel Pink. I have a dozen more – all agree.

I won’t bog us down with regurgitating the detail, but I will quickly dive into a specific point to which there is little argument among current scientists. Specifically, the brain does not store all data. There is no hard-drive type of system that stores movies of our experience in deeper and deeper layers of memory. This is an extreme over-simplification, but for lack of a simpler way to explain it; the brain saves and arranges fragments of memory as chemical connections upon which traffic travels in our brains (neural pathways). There’s no reason to take an alternate route when our consciousness has a regular commute to deal with. These fragments provide enough foundation data for us to plug in current activity and not have to summon everything in its entirety. The scene in the movie is stored with just enough detail to keep it intact, but everything else is completely gone. Our foundation data is shaped by our experience and prefers to remain essentially intact unless new data is more relevant, comes with vivid new evidence, has great impact (consequence) or repeated often enough to recast the perfectly good, always worked before, set. Once we see reality and truth and “what is” a certain way – based on our experience, it serves us well to keep it that way and use it to process new stuff.

Back to filtering and screening - An old illustration of a relevancy-sort goes like this:

Read the following sentence just once.

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT

OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY

COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE

OF MANY YEARS OF EXPERTS.

Now Read it again (just once) and count the number of F’s in the sentence once, then stop. Most people count three F’s in the words Finished, Files and aha… Scientific. How many did you count? Maybe you found more or less. There are actually seven F’s in the sentence. Read through it again, maybe you’ll see more F’s. Do it again once - now, then come back to this.

Hey – there are seven F’s (fact). However, almost no one sees the seven F’s on the first or even second pass. No say… Say. You look, you don’t see. Then you look again and probably still don’t see even though you were told how many were actually there. There is no relevant need to count F’s. This is a silly thing to develop a knack for (another terrific word – “knack”). This knack is virtually useless and resists finding a place in the brain’s wiring. That’s why it’s not unusual to miscount the F’s even after being told how many there were.

Since the word “of” isn’t important or relevant in the meaning of the sentence, our brain creates a type of blind spot. Isn’t it possible, or perhaps likely that we have other blind spots? Some may be useful, some not. By definition, we are blind to the blind spots. This “I don’t see the F’s” thing is an example of relevancy filtering. When something is of value and comes through as relevant, we let it in. Why is it that when you are in a crowded room with lots of chatter and conversation, you effectively block out the noise of the chatter, but when you hear your name spoken from across the room, it finds its way through? We also screen other things for other reasons.

We have a built-in and useful resistance to tearing up previously reinforced pictures. Our efficient brains easily accept the key pieces of data that fit nicely into our established framework (corroboration), but when something doesn’t fit (contradiction), our brains toss up some resistance (at least initially) by ignoring it if possible, or by interpreting it as if it did fit. That’s why we are usually quite happy to go along with a point of view that fits comfortably into our scene. The inclination to accept things that fit and resist things that don’t is something we just do. Things that reinforce out previously held view fly through our screens and things that don't, don't. We can ignore an amazing amount of logic and overwhelming evidence that doesn't fit, and yet give us a little slice of something in-line and "oh boy; "see - see - see, I told you so!" When the weight of evidence is anywhere close to balanced, we have little ability to recognize it.

We burn in our points of view when we go out hunting for information. We might read all the articles on a subject, but we do so with a predisposition to resist points of view that contradict previously accepted well-traveled thoughts. To discount a contradicting point of view, but let a corroborating view pass smoothly home, is a normal and efficient part of the process. We’re constantly checking our old reality against a new one and updating our scene. We should recognize that there is a preference for corroboration and at least a tiny bit of opposition to contradiction. If we’re saturated with evidence in support of our point of view, we might beef up our resistance – a viscous circle (or a virtuous circle – depending on your point of view –, which is in itself is a reinforcing feedback loop… I digress). You see this kind of thing in religion and politics all the time. In spite of what some would argue is overwhelming evidence, some people are convinced that there was an actual Adam and Eve; we’re all descendants, beginning to human existence. The Adam and Eve notion is preposterous to some, while the theory of evolution is unreasonable to others. Some have managed to fit the evidence into an alternate idea that gives them their Adam and Eve, but allows all the rest to happen in an evolutionary way. You get the idea. More republicans watch Bill O’Reilly and Fox News, while more democrats and independents watch Anderson Cooper and CNN. They don’t do so exclusively, but each prefers at least a hint of corroboration.

If we accept that the screening mechanism (natural – no one’s fault) might get in the way of some reward, and we can be open to the possibility that a few new set of well-feed concepts can be established, we can make something happen. It’s a tough assignment (understatement), but if you can develop the ability to shape other people’s filters, you can do some wild stuff.

A practical application:

If you have a struggling business and your employees don't believe that the way your business works is good for your customers, even more specifically - if they don't think the way you do things is a sincere effort to deliver benefit for your customers and employees, or if (say it ain't so) your employees don't trust you - you need to find a way to change how they think. To change a burned-in view of reality, you have to present a consistent and constant message, demonstrate your point often. Make the message about your vision and your unwavering belief an important part of daily life in your company. To close the deal in their minds, you'll have to get past the resistance. It may (will) take more time and effort than you think. If you've been neglectful, selfish or naughty (and they know it), you probably can't get there. You'll need a huge attention getting or disruptive event in order to get past the barriers. It will be worth it, so do it. You will not however, be able to chip away at it with any measurable success. Alternately, you can get new people and start fresh. Also tough.

You may disagree initially, but that would just be you screening.

.

The Simple Explanation - "The Bailout"

This is gross over simplification, but so what. People keep asking me, so...


Some people want to let the automakers either sink or swim on their own. No loans, or "Bailouts". Why should a business get saved when it has managed itself into the pooper?

The argument for saving the companies has purely to do with jobs. It has nothing at all to do with saving the reputation of the great American companies or the country's ability to lead the way in manufacturing. No one argues that this battle has been lost. Essentially, there are a lot of folks working for these companies and in the distribution system that goes along with it (dealers etc). It's the jobs, not the companies.

If you are of the mind ~ If the "Bailout" is a loan, and the government will get paid back, why is there a need to micro-manage the detail, plant a car-czar and oust CEOs? When the financial institutions needed loans, they didn't have to go through all this hoopla.

The angst over the loans is based on the fact that no lender would make the loans. The US government is the "lender of last resort". The car makers are stiff. They have lousy credit. Based on their current situation, it doesn't look like they'll make it. The odds are quite good that they'll eat the money and still go down in flames.

The drastic slowing of retail sales has crippled GM. Even if there had been just a slight dip (not a crash), GM would still be in pain. They have been somewhat arrogant and ill prepared. They are the stiffest of the stiffs. I'll note here quickly that while Ford is in the group, they are in a better shape. They have been busy working on what they do for a number of years and are a much better company. They're still in rough shape, clumsy and fat, but not as much as they were ten years ago, and not as much as the others. Chrysler is not going to make it no matter what you do. They are doomed, loans or no loans. Yes, GM is doomed too. Even if things get a bit better in the marketplace, GM is sick. Ford can survive if the general economy gets better.

It probably makes more sense to deal individually with each company, but that's not how it went. We're here now.

The government knows Chrysler is doomed, they strongly suspect that GM is doomed, and they are worried about Ford in the weak economy. Collectively, this group looks like a terrible credit risk. The repayment chances are so slim that loaning money is an obviously lousy idea. You're not likely to get paid and what's worse, you'll be asked to throw more money their way when they burn through this chunk. Still, they have to make loans that are unlikely to get repaid. That's why the deal comes with all this parental intervention. The loans are off the risk map.

Again - this is an over-simplification.

Good one!

Sir's comment: Private Equity's Hayday

Video and the web... Naaaaaaa...

Who would want to watch anything they could imagine at any time they wanted to? Would they use a remote? Too many changes too quickly could make a person twitch you know. Cable TV for $178.54 per month - that's only $2,142.48 a year (includes "most" of the channels), and a DVR are all anyone could ever want.

...or not.

Gift Idea

Make / Take

>


















From Seth Godin's stuff...


Making vs. Taking

Consider two cereals:

Honey Bunches of Oats, a category creator, a big brand with spin offs and profits and growth.

Fruit Harvest, a generically named cereal that leverages the marketing department's ability to run coupons, grab shelf space and take share.

That's the choice most of us make when we launch a product or service. We can make a market or we can take share from a market.

• "This is just like the Gillette razor, but cheaper."


• "This has a touch screen, too, but you can get it from Verizon."


• "I'm a shiatsu massage therapist, the only one on this block."
  

Those are 'taking' statements. They break a larger market into smaller bits.

Compare to:

• "This is a sugared cereal for adults."


• "Our software enables you to find data and trends that no one else can find."


• "By combining protein and chocolate, we've developed a new food that's both dessert and dinner."
  

These are 'making' statements. Riskier, sure, but they stand for something, they don't just steal share. The Dummies guides made a market, the Idiot's guides took from that market.

You need to be clear with yourself and your team about which one you're after, because they bring different costs, different benefits and different time frames.

Yes indeed.

When the chatter moves the needle

"[Insert name of business] is terrific. They [insert thing done well]. They [insert recognized customer advantage]. They can do it that way because [insert non-tradtional, or newly invented process / edge]. Isn't that neat? You should go there."



When your customers talk about you like this. Even better, when people who are not your customers talk about you like this, you just might be on to something.

The Ten Bucks Worth Fix - Aha!

I changed a set of strings (classical guitar) and discovered that in spite of the fact that I was tying it correctly, the E-string (treble) kept slipping the knot. That's crazy. I looped it three time s and it still slipped. I was using D'Addario Pro Arte EJ50 hard tension black nylons. I've never experienced this slipping before - even after I tossed in an extra loop. However, here's a terrific fix. I thought of it myself (that gives me naming rights). I'll call it "The Ten Bucks Worth Fix". Nice huh?

Try this: Pull out your satchel of rosin that you use on your violin. My violin has metal strings, so the rosin is extra sticky, but any rosin will do. Give the tail of your E-string a rubbadubdub with the rosin and then go ahead and tie it in there. Two loops and no slippage whatsoever. Sweet!

Thank you... Thank you very much.

"F" survives

The "Big Three", which should have been the big two (Chrysler isn't really on the same scale), looked bad in front of Congress. They (specifically Mr. Wagner of GM) came across poorly. Alan Mulally of Ford managed to hold his own.

What did we hear? We heard that GM is screwed. Chrysler is screwed and Ford will probably survive. Say what? Yes - we heard it from the UAW Chief and from the three amigos. This is a gift. Go back and watch the whole thing with this conclusion in mind. It is so. Ford (F) is the survivor.

There you have it.

We sell for less! Here's how.

If what we sell is easily available elsewhere, we have to do everything that surrounds the transaction better in order to compete. However, we shouldn't / can't / must not forget that price, or at least the perception about price tells people that ours is low. Just because we say it won't create belief, but if we don't bother to say it, we drop a level of consideration. We can't afford not to be considered - ever. It's almost an obligatory / courtesy claim. "No one sells for less", or words to that effect - is a must.

To make our point logically absorbable (is that a word?), we should say why or how we do it. Deliver a story that explains how we're able to sell for less. Complete the picture.

There's more of course, but it won't matter unless we get considered. We could always go with..

It's official - the market is down!

The Money Hole

Absolutely terrific stuff!


In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

Don't believe it

You may be tempted at some point to try to make a million dollars. To do it without a lot of effort or skill or risk. Using a system, some shortcut perhaps, or mortgaging something you already own.

There are countless infomercials and programs and systems that promise to help you do this. There are financial instruments and investments and documents you can sign that promise similar relief from financial stress.

Resist.

There are four ways to make a million dollars. Luck. Patient effort. Skill. Risk.

(Five if you count inheritance, and six if you count starting with two million dollars).

Conspicuously missing from this list are effortless 1-2-3 systems that involve buying an expensive book or series of tapes. Also missing are complicated tax shelters or other 'proven' systems. The harder someone tries to sell you this solution, the more certain you should be that it is a scam. If no skill or effort is required, then why doesn't the promoter just hire a bunch of people at minimum wage and keep the profits?

There are literally a million ways to make a good living online, ten million ways to start and thrive with your own business offline. But all of these require effort, and none of them are likely to make you a million dollars.

Short version: If someone offers to sell you the secret system, don't buy it. If you need to invest in a system before you use it, walk away. If you are promised big returns with no risk and little effort, you know the person is lying to you. Every time.

Hey TC

"Top Cat" ran for only30 episodes from September 27, 1961 to April 18, 1962. When I was four years old, Top Cat (a.k.a "TC") was slick.

Sure, I can do that too...

Well peeled

YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video

A smaller Kingdom?

A smaller kingdom is a good idea. Yea... perhaps that's it! There will be fewer servants, but we'll not have generals or even an army.

"Quality Go"

My obligatory political comment (I've refrained so far) is as follows:

It's clear that Barack Obama ran an effective campaign. How different from campaigning is actually being the President? The skills are similar, but not the same. Now that he has the job, can he stop pandering (a necessary task when campaigning - no criticism intended) and start managing? He might act as if he were getting an early start on the 2012 campaign. It would be easy for him to continue to play this part. He surely has the selling skills - now let's see an effective executive. My guess is that he'll drop his poetry and get to business. We'll give him time - at least four years - not to simply stir emotions, but to get to work and do a terrific job. I think he'll have a quality go at it.

Sports / Entertainment product

Commercially, sports are entertainment products. Businesses need attendance, and a loyal fan base willing to spend time and money on the product. A costumed mascot and related interaction with those in attendance, fan contests and other antics - all attempt to add interest (to entertain). The business of providing entertainment - especially for offerings struggling to win attention, can move in some wild directions. I'm not saying it's a bad thing - but it is an emerging aspect of sports with commercial objectives.

We might note that in this example, attendance appears to be weak.

How about painting? Have I said bad things?

Here again, it seems like a straightforward thing - maybe even stress-free, or possibly stress relieving. No! The new rule is: "If it is going to require more than one gallon of paint, or more than three hours - think about getting someone else to to do it". You'll scoff at my discovery and my new rules, but in the end - you'll see that I am correct.

Have I ever said anything bad about drywall?

If you need drywall hung etc., hire someone. There you have it. The final word on drywall.

Any particular kind of berry?

I wonder if these guys are buddies and went one after the other in the uniform number assignment line. I mean 92 and then sitting right next to him - 93. Quite a coincidence.

Maybe

Never do drywall - ever again

Remind me never to do a drywall project ever again. Anything - other than a small patch job - is not allowed.

931 Ocean

One of my favorite restaurants just closed. It wasn't a big place - maybe it sat 50 people plus a another seven or eight at the bar. The food was quite good and the service was also good. They sure seemed to try hard. It always seemed busy, but it could be that I showed up when everyone else did. Maybe it just wasn't big enough. Maybe it was something else. It seems like this restaurant thing is much harder than it looks.

Cuppla Quotes

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does.

The Lion Tamer

In this painting by W.A. Rogers, 1904 - the lion tamer stands with confidence and commands the lion's attention. Of course, he knows that should the lions collectively decide to attack, he'll be eaten.

Habanero Peppers - home grown and fresh

You see those little peppers on the counter. Apparently, they were grown in the garden and recently harvested. Together with the tomatoes, this should be quite nice. So - you decide that maybe all this stuff can go in the stir fry. Yes indeed, this will be quite nice.


Make sure you use a cutting board. Don't scratch the counter top. Dice those tomatoes, but not too much - they'll lose their substance. Onions too. Now cut open those little garden peppers and pull out the seeds. I'm not sure if you're supposed to pull the seeds, but I'll do it anyway. Then slice those peppers up into thin strips and chop them up good. Use the tips of your fingers to guide the knife blade and really chop those little peppers into tiny tiny bits. Scrap everything off the cutting board and into the frying pan and we're off and running. This is going to be quite nice.


It's good to clean as you go. Wipe down your counter top and clean the cutting board. Wipe your eye lid, your upper lip and the side of your nose with your fingers. Make sure your fingers still have the oils from the little home grown peppers on them. Now that you feel a bit of a tingle on your eye lid, go ahead and rub your eye in order to make that tingle go away. Rub it a lot.


Turn off the cook top and consider taking a freezing cold shower. Wash wash wash wash scrub, wash wash scrub, wash wash - and repeat. You may just want to rip your eye out or maybe tear your face off and look for a new one later. Nice peppers.

Differentiation

Do the same thing as everyone else and you'll get the same thing as everyone else. If that's what you want - swell. If you dare to be different, go for "better". Figure out what better means and make sure you're a lot better. Being marginally better isn't going to matter. You might as well be worse. It's hard to tell the difference between a little worse, the same, and a little better. Nope - you have to go with significantly better if you want to stand out. Chances are you'll give up something (could be margin, could be control, could be sleep), but you have to do it. Make sure you're right about what better means. Being boldly better wins attention.

Onion News - so good, so bad, so funny

John McCain Accidentally Left On Campaign Bus Overnight

Who said it?

It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away."

I believe this was Abraham Lincoln.


By the way Abraham; what's with the "oln"?

A familiar smell?

This is where folks say "the next time things are up I'm selling". Since a lot of equities are held in mutual funds, and the sell activity gets executed the day following the instruction to sell, we see the consequences of those who can't take the risk or maybe the heat - a day or two later.

Or not.

A sigh and a beverage are in order

Yes indeed, we are pleased with the market's big up move on Monday. It was definitely good news. It's not time to celebrate just yet. However, a brief sigh of relief and a beverage are in order.

Heavy Lifting - % Ups and Downs

If something (let's say... the stock market) falls 20%. It has to then gain 25% to get back where it started.

10,000 down 20% is 8,000
8,000 up 20% is only 9,600
8,000 up 25% brings us back to 10,000

I hate that.

I love her expressions after she finds her fries

Punt

Advice

When you feel like you don't know what to do, clean the garage.

Crapnackle - Proposal 106a

What we have here, is a failure to communicate. I say stop selling into a soft (understatement) market and you continue to do so. What about "stop selling" is hard to understand? Don't make me stop this car. I will you know.

Instead of trying to hurt me with your lack of compliance with my wishes, here's what we'll do. Proposal 106a. I'm going to be calm. I'll come over here and stand with my hands on the back of this chair and my feet spread out as far as can. Then, when I say go, you wind up and drive your foot up between my legs crushing my balls and causing me severe pain.

But if I accept that, you will agree to stop selling and to actually start buying stocks. I won't go so far as to require that you buy specific stocks, although if you need suggestions, I have some.

Fair enough?

Autumn to be "Crunchy"

Crunchy leaves and winds at 12 mph - use caution.

Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn

Crapnackle Chimes in - Again

To all people,
Stop selling stocks. Stop it I tell you. Stop it! You're ruining the plan. You see - in order for us to come off these dreadful lows, we need buying. Repeat after me... "Buuuuuyyyyyying". Yes - very good. It's time to quit being chicken and get positive. Buy!

Don't make me beg. Of course I will beg if I have to, but that isn't a fun thing to watch, so let's not let it come to that.

I'll just say, please - if you don't mind etc etc.

There - I've said it. Hopefully that encouragement is the thing that tips the scales. Whew.

Any wiggle room in that price?

Crapnackle Speaks!

Crapnackle Report - September 29. 2008 ~ 10:41 AM:

Now is the time to put money, effort and other applicable resources to work. By now, I mean over the next few months. I'd still give it a couple of weeks for the stench to reach the nasal passages.

Had you done it over the last year, chances are good you lost money. If you were lucky enough or patient enough to wait until now, you stand a chance to do well. The message has been clear for a long time (two years or so) that "the economy" is lousy and getting lousier. There were a few holdouts who kept saying that things would get better.

Now there is almost complete agreement that everything stinks. Most people fear the worst and believe we are going down, down, down. Even those who are always bullish are wincing.

I and almost everyone is sold on the dismal state of everything.

That's it. We'll have a healthy chunk of market hurl today and maybe another nice big upchuck in the next week or so just to emphasise the point and then that will be it. The bottom will have arrived. Thank goodness. Now let's get back to business.

Remember what a bottom looks like. On the other side of the moment there is still a period of more lousy. We'll probably see more pain in the next week or two, but really - who can make a call down to the day? The bottom feeling may last for a while and we may wallow in it for a time, but it is the bottom. It just won't get appreciably lousier. That might not sound all that wonderful, but if you stay away (chicken), and don't act until you see signs of improvement, you'll be competing with everyone. Right now - be bold and win!

There you have it.

Cool Hand Luke

Paul Leonard Newman (January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008)

In school, I took a film class and we dissected every cut of every scene in the movie "Cool Hand Luke". You had to like Luke.

Hmmm... let's consider

Constructive dilemmas--

1. (If X, then Y) and (If W, then Z).
2. X or W.
3. Therefore, Y or Z.

Destructive dilemmas--

1. (If X, then Y) and (If W, then Z).
2. Not Y or not Z.
3. Therefore, not X or not W.

McCain's Economic plan - "Marry a Beer Heiress"

McCain's Economic Plan For Nation: "Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress"

And That's Why I don't like Cricket

Mighty Boosh - Fossil Dance.

Amateur Balloonist

Amateur balloonist floats around the world.

The Stone Church

Who would have guessed? Not me.
We'll see what we can do. It should be interesting.

Pencils down. When?

Is it time?

What time is it?

When?

Now?

Soon?

Pencils down!

No - not pencils down.

Yes indeed, it's just about time for pencils down.

So - it isn't actually pencils down. How much time is left before the real pencils down?

Not much.

Oh boy.

.

Eventually...

Eventually, home prices will be relatively stable. Somewhere just under what it costs to put up a new one. This will mean that perceptions about puffed values will no longer drive people's decisions. Those with bloated mortgages will simply be "upside-down". They'll accept it as a fact and act accordingly. Some will stiff the bank, and others will find a way to get their positions right. Buyers will buy the homes offered at acceptable prices and walk past the rest. This is just the way it will be.

Lenders will lend money based on the new value reality and they'll be happy to do a 30-year fixed mortgage for folks with some kind of a down payment. There will be much less creativity when it comes to financing.

Some people will rent from those with enough money to control rental properties. There will be some balance between what you get and what you pay for. Of course this will happen.

Oh - and one more thing... Eventually, nuclear power will deliver energy in abundance and demand for fossil fuels will be only for those applications in which it is necessary.

Now then, isn't all that nice to know?

From Brand Camp

Here's a buck - go buy something

Here you go. Here's a dollar. Go buy... almost nothing. You might get a bottle of water. Not a name brand water (what?), but a generic - crappy water in a plastic bottle that will probably give you a disease of some kind. Hey - how about a sandwich at a drive through. Mmmmm... nice huh? But wait - with tax, even that 99 cent "thing" is going to require a little more cash. No, no, no, I know - go get a package of sparklers in New Hampshire (no tax). There you go. Look - five sparklers for a dollar. That's a half hour of real solid fun. What a deal. If you have another dollar, you can get a lighter. You'll have to settle for a stupid looking one that is one-sale because it didn't sell. It probably has a skull on it. Hopefully it will work so you can light up your sparklers. Oh boy, we're having some fun now aren't we?

Sales Bully

Can you bully someone into a sale?

Of course you can.

It's human nature to resist saying yes. Human nature makes us hesitate, sometimes for a week or a month, at the very last minute, at the moment of truth.

One technique to get through this hesitation is to be a sales bully.

Sales bullies describe their approach as ethical, because, after all, it's in the best interest of the prospect to say yes. It's okay to be a sales bully when you're trying to get someone to take their TB medicine, so it must be okay to be a sales bully to get them to sign this contract.

And it works. On some people.

The flaw in thinking is this... the people you most want to sell to won't respond well to this. The people you most need to spread the word, the people who are the best partners, the most loyal customers--they blanch in the face of bullying. They walk out.

So, if bullying is the only tool you've got, it makes sense to focus on an audience that responds to it (and lower your expecations accordingly). Even better, get some new tools.

Nothing But Tears

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—After decades of coddling young children, Johnson & Johnson unveiled its new "Nothing But Tears" shampoo this week, an aggressive bath-time product the company says will help to prepare meek and fragile newborns for the real world.

A radical departure for the health goods manufacturer, the new shampoo features an all-alcohol-based formula, has never once been approved by leading dermatologists, and is as gentle on a baby's skin as "having to grow up and fend for your goddamn self."

"We at Johnson & Johnson have been making bath time a safe and soothing experience for far too long," company CEO William C. Weldon said. "Years of pampering have left our newborns helpless, feeble, and ill-equipped for the arduous road ahead."

Nine things to know - coming soon

1. Your lawn and the real story about grass
2. The keys to proper personal hygiene
3. Golf secrets they don't want you to know
4. The truth about choosing PC or a Mac
5. Stocks and investing - the most important thing
6. Trading in (selling) your car
7. Home recording studio myths busted
8. Get rid of that hot tub
9. Time, perception, and the endless summer
   

Apparently, there are no exceptions

Nope. There isn't an easy way; not as far as I can tell. To create real success - money and satisfaction - everything requires effort bordering on obsession and the ability to handle risk. You can be oblivious to the risk, and avoid having to swallow hard, but it's there. Apparently, there are no exceptions. You can take it easy, and not "go hard", but you'll fail. Oh yes you will. Even if you do everything right, you can still crash.

Too bad huh?

There is a chance that [insert unexplored notion] might get us there.

Frostee

Just because I'm frozen
doesn't mean I give up

Just because I'm frozen
doesn't mean I'm gonna stop

Here for a while
Thrilled to be chilled
Thrilled to be chilled
Here for a while
Thrilled to be chilled
Thrilled to be chilled

Just because I'm frozen
doesn't mean I give up

Just because I'm frozen
doesn't mean I give up

Got the time?

Nice Clock!

Wild ties

I predict that wild ties will become cool. Yes. You heard it here first. Make note.

Key piece

What could be more satisfying than solving a puzzle?

Let's look for a situation in which the previous attempts have failed. Why did they fail? Is it something simple? Chances are it's not simple. Unless maybe the key piece to the puzzle is just plain missing - say what? What if the weak link is in charge of figuring out what / who is the weak link?

After tearing apart a bunch of these deals, it looks like the key piece (the weak link) is a person. Crazy huh?

We need ya Mellon!

Let's go with - - - "King". Perfect!

After much thought, I have decided that I will become - - - the King.

Yes, I know - it seems like a big job doesn't it? It is. In fact - it comes with great responsibility. However, I've decided that I'm okay with all that it entails.

I won't be your typical King. Nope. It's unlikely that I will wear a crown, and my plan is to not have people around to tell me what I want to hear. I'll earn all the necessary loyalty, and I'll be good to almost everyone. There are nasty people out there, and I can't promise to be good to the nasty ones. They will however, certainly not be asked to hang out with the rest of us.

Hopefully, my assent to the position of King will happen soon. I've got several things planned that will be made much easier if I'm already established as King.

I realize this is big news and I hope I haven't shocked anyone with the announcement. I thought maybe that if I did it just after game 6 of the Celtic-Piston series, it could be done without much fanfare. Fanfare is a King thing (trumpets etc), but we'll reserve all that for after the official day, a.k.a. coronation.

There you have it.