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There is no pleasure in having nothing to do. The pleasure is in having lots to do, and not doing it.
John W. Raper
I'm trying to arrange my life so that I don't even have to be present.
Unknown
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Unknown
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
I have enough money to last the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Jackie Mason
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at, without results.
Winston Churchill
Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
G. K. Chesterton
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Mitch Ratliffe
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try.
Homer Simpson
Better stop your groovin' round another rooster's hen.
song lyric by Lee Hazlewood
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